No narration. Just speech.
"As you all know, the forces of evil gather beyond our borders. If not met with the most violent resistance, they will overwhelm and defeat us. We were ready to fight them off three days ago, but stuff happened that forced us to reconsider our plans."
"Heh. Butt stuff happened."
"Please, Rodnel, this is important."
"Important butt stuff."
"Not important butt stuff."
"You just said it was important."
"Yes. The situation is important."
"I'm sorry. Please continue."
"Thank you. We have been formulating a new plan for our defenses, one which we believe will enable us not only to resist their encroachment, but to take the fight to them. With our master stroke it will be possible to-"
"Heh. Stroke it."
"Rodnel, please. Stop."
"Stop stroking it?"
"No, not stop stroking it."
"So you want me to continue stroking it."
"No, I'm not talking about... wait, what are you doing right now?"
"Well I'm not stopping stroking it, that's for sure."
"...Moving on. Make no mistake, this is our lives we fight for. Our livelihoods. Indeed, everything that makes us who we are. With sword, shield, and spear, we will bring ruin upon those who dared to think us weak and vulnerable. When we meet them at our gates, we will not simply give way, no! We will meet their thrusts with thrusts of our own, thrusting our spears into their bodies over and over again!"
"Um..."
"We will penetrate their armor with our swords, which will enter their flesh and leave behind the seeds of their defeat, and of our victory!"
"What are you doing?"
"This is a pep talk, Rodnel. I'm rallying the troops."
"By talking about thrusting our spears inside of people?"
"Yes, that's how spears work."
"Yeah, but are you sure those are the words you want to use? Because it feels like you're just baiting me."
"Baiting you with what?"
"With blatant innuendo."
"Look, whatever goes on in that sick mind of yours, just keep it to yourself. This is important."
"I..."
"Men, we will penetrate them with the shafts of our spears and blades as long as it takes to get the job done, while preventing them from penetrating us!"
"Okay, isn't that kind of homophobic?"
"This isn't sex, Rodnel, it's war. I intend to see every one of our enemy forces lying on their backs, their limbs spread wide after they've submitted to our-"
"Dude, that's sick. You're sick. I'm leaving."
"There are no cowards in war, Rodnel."
"Leaving!"
"...Piotr, how did I do?"
"One minute and twenty-three seconds."
"Hey, a new record. Beer?"
"Beer."
"We'll make sure the barkeep gives us a good head on it."
"And under it."
"Cheers."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines