No narration. Just speech.
"All right everyone, gather around. Andy isn't here, and he's not responding to phone calls."
"And that's a problem?"
"Well, you all know Andy is never late, let alone absent. This job is the world to him."
"Really? I just always thought he just had nowhere better to go."
"Well, probably that too. However, he's essential to our meeting with Telecorp today, so I want to brainstorm next steps on how to find him. Looking for ideas. Karen."
"I mean, do we really need him here?"
"Yes. I just said he's essential."
"But he always looks at me."
"You want to abandon him to the wolves because he looks at you?"
"He leers at me. Constantly."
"You're the one who only owns tops with plunging necklines. You knew what you were signing up for."
"Are you blaming me for Andy being inappropriate?"
"No, I'm blaming you for you being inappropriate. This is an office, not a bordello. Anyone else? Steve?"
"Maybe he's been taken in by a cult to help build their new compound?"
"He weighs a hundred and five pounds."
"A guy can dream."
"You're not helping. Elliot?"
"My life is a hole of sadness, and I'm taking you all with me."
"...Okay. Do you have any ideas about finding Andy?"
"Andy is better off wherever he is, far from the ultimate darkness that is my existence."
"I think Elliot might need therapy."
"My psychiatrist shot himself after my second session. He said life was a void now."
"Does anyone have any ideas for how to find Andy? Ideas that don't involve firebombing the block, Kevin."
"I'll come up with something new."
"Maya, do you have anything?"
"He's probably just stuck in traffic."
"Andy doesn't get stuck in traffic. He somehow even predicts when there are accidents, and leaves early for them. It's like he causes them just to see if he can still do it."
"I'm telling you, he's on his way but just not here yet. He's probably not answering his phone because he doesn't want to talk while driving."
"That's never stopped him before."
"Has it ever come up before?"
"Yes?"
"Really?"
"No."
"See?"
"Look, the meeting is in three minutes, Telecorp will be here any second now, and Andy is missing. We need to figure out where he is and how to get him here."
"If the meeting isn't for three minutes, then he's not really even late, is he?"
"It's Andy. Five minutes early is ten minutes late."
"And there he is. Hi Andy!"
"Hey, sorry I'm late everyone, traffic was murder."
"See, I told you he was just in traffic."
"Andy, when you say traffic was murder, you don't mean that you stopped in traffic to murder someone, do you?"
"No, not this time."
"Good. Now let's go sell some condoms."
"The empty void of existence is not altered by one person joining it. We will all ultimately die alone, and the universe will not notice."
"Elliot, shut up. Condoms!"
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines