No narration. Just speech.
"Hi."
"Hello."
"I've been sent to kill you."
"Oh. I'd rather you didn't."
"Most people say that."
"Does it ever work?"
"It does not."
"Then we have a problem."
"Not really."
"No, we do. Because you want to kill me, and don't want to die."
"I didn't say I want to kill you, I said I've been sent to kill you."
"Can't you just not do it?"
"I don't get paid unless I do the work."
"So you're a killer for hire then."
"I am."
"What if I offer you more money?"
"You're in a ripped shirt and no pants. I seriously doubt you can compete with their offer."
"Who's paying you to kill me, anyway?"
"I can't divulge that."
"Then why are we talking? Why haven't you done it already?"
"Just because I'm here to kill you, that's no reason we can't be civil about it."
"Will you at least tell me how you're going to do it?"
"I'm going to stab you 27 times in the chest."
"Really? Why?"
"Because I think 28 times would be excessive."
"And 27 isn't?"
"27 is 3 cubed. 3 is barely any."
"I'm not sure that's how math works."
"I don't really care. Are you ready?"
"I am. GOONS!"
"Goons? Oh. Goons."
"Yeah, remember way back when I told you I don't want to die?"
"It was literally one minute ago."
"Didn't it strike you as odd that I live in a penthouse with this much stuff, and yet I'm sitting here like a hobo?"
"It did."
"I'd like to draw your attention to that TV monitor over there. What do you see?"
"The front hall."
"That's right. The way into the building. I saw you when you entered, and I had time to prepare."
"By taking off your pants."
"By making you underestimate me. Which you've clearly done."
"Clearly."
"So why don't you tell me again - oh I'm sorry, you haven't told me a first time yet. Why don't you tell me who's paying you to kill me?"
"You know, you went to such ...lengths to make me underestimate you, but didn't you find it odd that I would just walk in the front door like that? Goons."
"...I see. Well played. How long?"
"About seven inches. My wife is very happy. Oh, you mean how long have your men been in my pocket? Let's just say I'm very well funded."
"Well funded indeed if you can pay off twenty-nine men for that long."
"Twenty-nine?"
"Fire."
"Gah!"
"Let me make something quite clear, Mr. Pennington - please stop bleeding on my carpet. I have stayed alive this long not by chance, but by making sure that people never see my hand. Everyone knows about my security staff, but very few people are aware that I have a much more secretive group of protectors who are paid to disappear. Legally they're all dead, and their only job is to stay that way while following my public security to make sure they don't betray me. I knew within minutes when you turned each of my people, and I knew when you were planning to make your move. I made a point of only assigning people you'd bought off to my security detail tonight, specifically so that I could eliminate them at the same time as I eliminated you. I only have one question for you before I end this farce of an assassination attempt: who hired you?"
"Fine. It was Joe."
"I know a lot of Joes. Joe who?"
"Joe Mama."
"Really? That's the line you want to go out on? Okay, fine then. ... Gentlemen, if you would please clean this up for me... I have a business to destroy."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines