No narration. Just speech.
"Hey, Merry Christmas."
"What are you doing?"
"What?"
"You can't say 'Merry Christmas' any more. It's Happy Holidays."
"Please, Christmas Eve is literally tomorrow. I'm saying Merry Christmas."
"People don't like that any more."
"What people? You're literally the only other person here."
"You know... people."
"Have you been stealing egg nog? Because you sound like a crazy person right now."
"No. I mean, yes, but that's not what this is about."
"Uh huh."
"It's all part of the 'War On Christmas' that's been going on for years."
"Dude, Christmas movies started playing in October this year. Halloween hadn't even happened, and they were already selling Christmas lights. If there's a war on Christmas, Christmas is winning."
"You can't deny that Christmas is under attack."
"By whom?"
"Politically correct people."
"The PC crowd."
"Yes!"
"They buy Santa-themed wrapping paper every year, just like the rest of us. There is no war on Christmas."
"Then why are we supposed to say Happy Holidays?"
"You're supposed to say whatever you want. Happy Holidays is just more inclusive, for when you don't know what faith the other person is."
"No... Merry Christmas is verboten."
"When did you learn the word verboten?"
"It was on a 'word of the day' calendar last year."
"I see."
"The fact remains, Christmas is getting less and less festive every year."
"Say that to the people who literally wire up a light show for their entire house that plays in time with a song."
"I just don't like how aggressive people are against Christmas!"
"You're the only person I've talked to all year who's even mentioned this."
"Because it's important!"
"Because it's not actually a thing. It never was."
"They don't want us celebrating Christmas any more."
"They really don't give a crap what we celebrate, as long as we enjoy ourselves and spread holiday cheer."
"You see? 'Holiday' cheer! Not Christmas cheer!"
"It's always been 'holiday' cheer."
"Because there's always been a war on Christmas!"
"Even the media wasn't trying to sell that lie until the '90s."
"All the good Christmas songs were written before then!"
"And most of them were written by Jews."
"I- ...wait, what? Seriously?"
"Yep. Look it up."
"Hold on... well I'll be."
"See?"
"That doesn't change anything though."
"Are you saying you don't want me to say Merry Christmas?"
"No, I'm saying everyone else doesn't want you to say it."
"But you're personally fine with it?"
"Of course I am!"
"So then why are you raising such a stink about it?"
"I don't know."
"Merry Christmas, Steve."
"Merry Christmas, Erica."
"I got you no presents."
"I told you we're at war!"
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines