No narration. Just speech.
"Sir, what are you doing?"
"I'm here to buy groceries."
"I can see that. You can't come in yet."
"Why not?"
"Because seven to eight AM is reserved for seniors."
"I am a senior."
"You're clearly in your 50s."
"Thank you, that's kind of you to say. But no, I'm 72."
"No you're not."
"Because I look young?"
"Exactly because you look young."
"So you're discriminating against me because I take care of my body?"
"I'm not discriminating against you for any reason, you just can't come in yet because we're only open for seniors right now."
"That's age discrimination."
"We're not discriminating against you, we're opening early so the most vulnerable among us can shop in a relatively empty environment, for their protection."
"And that includes me."
"No it doesn't."
"It does. And I can prove it."
"And how's that now?"
"Here, I have ID."
"You have ID?"
"Yes."
"First of all, only someone using a fake ID calls it their ID. Secondly, this driver's license is fake."
"No it's not!"
"It absolutely is."
"It says right here, I was born on August 17, 1948."
"I know what it says."
"I'm 72 years old."
"Not with that birthday you're not."
"1948. That's 72 years ago."
"If you were born in August, you'd be 71."
"What?"
"According to that fake ID, you'll be 72 later this year, but right now you're only 71. And if that was your real birthday, you'd know that. The ID is fake, and you're not getting in yet."
"I stopped going by my date of birth years ago. I only go by the year now."
"Look, what are you here for?"
"I need food and toilet paper."
"Great. Come back at eight."
"No. I'm entitled to be here now."
"And as store manager, I'm entitled to refuse service to any potential customer, for any reason."
"So now you're refusing me service?"
"Until eight AM, yes."
"I'm calling my lawyer."
"Does your lawyer also pretend to be twenty years older than they are?"
"I don't understand why you won't let me in. There isn't even anyone in there right now."
"That's the point. The elderly are high risk, so we allow them to shop with nobody else around to reduce the risk they'll catch it. If you were actually a senior, you'd be let in. But you're not. So you need to come back in ... two minutes."
"Wait, two minutes?"
"Yes. It's 7:58 right now. Come back in two minutes."
"Oh. Okay then. Can I have that back please?"
"Your fake ID?"
"Yes. I mean- it's not fake!"
"Sure it isn't."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines