No narration. Just speech.
"Ow."
"I told you not to make that noise."
"But I just woke up in the closet."
"Right. That's where I put you."
"Why?"
"Because you wouldn't stop making that noise. We've been over this."
"What noise?"
"You know. That noise. The airy one that sounds like you're letting out a weak orgasm."
"Weak orgasm?"
"Yeah. You make it sometimes when you smile."
"When I- you mean a sigh?"
"That's the one."
"You knocked me out and put me in the closet because I sighed?"
"Look, how many times do we need to go over this?"
"But that's dumb. Like, so dumb. You got mad at me for expressing happiness?"
"I didn't get mad at you, I just knocked you out. And yes, it was for expressing happiness."
"What's wrong with being happy?"
"Nothing. Except nobody else here is. That means you're rubbing it in our faces. And that's not cool."
"Our? It's just you and me here."
"Right. And 100% of the people who aren't you in this room are not happy."
"Meaning just you."
"I know what I said."
"Why aren't you happy?"
"Because I don't have anything to be happy about."
"Okay."
"All right then."
"Don't you want to know why I'm happy?"
"Honestly? No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't care."
"Well maybe if you were in a better mood, you would care."
"Maybe. But I'm not. So we'll never know."
"Well, I'm going to tell you anyway."
"Great."
"I'm happy because I'm in love!"
"I still don't care."
"You don't care that your best friend is in love?"
"You're not my best friend."
"I'm not?"
"Top five, maybe."
"I-"
"Yeah, I'd put you top five."
"Thanks?"
"You're welcome. Now let's never speak of this again."
"I can't help it. I met him on the subway."
"Uh huh."
"He offered me his seat, and our eyes met-"
"I see."
"And we just clicked."
"Could you be any more of a stereotype?"
"What?"
"Guy offers girl seat, they fall for each other, the Hallmark channel wets itself. That's honestly the most boring version of meeting someone I've ever heard."
"Well, I can't help it. It's what happened."
"If you say so."
"He just makes my heart so... Hemmmmmm"
"Do you want to go back in the closet?"
"No please."
"Good. If you want to swoon, do it at home. We're supposed to be working."
"I know. I'm just so happy though!"
"That's it, you're going in the closet."
"No! Wait! I'll be good!"
"Too late. Have a good nap."
"Nooo!"
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines