No narration. Just speech.
"It's almost time for the ball to drop. Are you ready?"
"I'm sorry, what now?"
"It's New Year's Eve. The ball is dropping soon."
"Ball singular?"
"Yes, ball singular."
"What happened to the other one?"
"There's only ever been one."
"Dude, I'm so sorry."
"...Kay. Anyway, are you going to watch it drop?"
"Why would I?"
"To ring in the new year?"
"It's timed? How did you do that?"
"What? Of course it's timed. How else are you supposed to cheer?"
"I'm supposed to cheer for it?"
"You're supposed to cheer to ring in the new year, yes. Haven't you ever done this before?"
"I've celebrated the new year before, yes. It's never involved balls dropping."
"But it's a tradition - it happens every year."
"Every year? I thought it was only supposed to happen once?"
"No, it's every year. Some random B-list celebrity hosts it and everything."
"You got a celebrity for it? Where are they?"
"They're on TV."
"So they're not even here."
"Of course they're not here, why would they be here?"
"Well if they're going to count it down, they'll want to be where it's happening, right?"
"They... are?"
"Wait, I just realized something - how can it happen more than once?"
"They reset it each year."
"And you just let them do that?"
"I don't really have any control over it. I'm just a guy."
"Well it seems like something you would have a say over."
"Why?"
"Because it's your ball."
"It's not my ball, it's the people's ball."
"So you're the Rock now? 'The People's Elbow', now it's the people's ball?"
"What on Earth are you on about?"
"I think you're being rather pompous is all."
"It's the new year! You're supposed to be kind of pompous! That's kind of the whole point, really. You get drunk, the ball drops, we all yell Happy New Year as if we came up with it, sing a dumb song, and pretend that the new year will be better than the old one."
"And at the end of that year, your ball gets raised back up so it can be dropped again."
"The people's ball."
"Colour me skeptical."
"Look, this is just how it is. Are you going to watch it with me or not?"
"No, I'm not going to stare at your crotch to ring in the new year."
"What? Oh! Oh. Oh. Oh, that's not it at all."
"You're the one who kept telling me about your ball dropping. And how have you not gone through puberty yet? You're 38 and have a beard."
"It's not my ball, it's the one on TV."
"That big silver monstrosity?"
"Yes, that."
"Oh. Well that certainly changes things."
"Why would you think I was talking about my balls?"
"I wasn't sure what you were talking about. I was also confused about how you could time it so precisely. And why it was only one ball."
"I see."
"Like did the first one already descend, and the second was on vacation at the time?"
"Let's just ...look, they're starting the countdown. Let's count down with them."
"Like we're in Kindergarten all counting together? I think not. I'm getting a beer."
"Okay. I'll just take my nuts out so you can look at them when you get back."
"You do that."
"Love you."
"I love you too."
"Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines