No narration. Just speech.
"Dude, I have a surprise for you."
"What kind of surprise?"
"The good kind."
"I see. And why are you wearing sunglasses in my living room?"
"Someone has to. Why aren't you?"
"Should I be? I mean, do I need them for your surprise?"
"Why would I give you a surprise that requires you to already be wearing sunglasses? What would that even be?"
"I don't know. Wearing sunglasses indoors is dumb."
"In that case, the surprise is not that I bought you sunglasses, and I'll need a moment to come up with a new surprise."
"Truly you are a champion among men."
"Thank you. And I've figured out your new surprise."
"Is it two sets of indoor sunglasses?"
"I have figured out yet another new surprise. Observe this box."
"Okay."
"Are you observing it?"
"As much as I can. It's not very interesting."
"That's not the surprise."
"I'm shocked."
"Inside the box you will find something just for you, from me, via a giant gummy lizard."
"Was that a James Veitch reference?"
"It was."
"Well done. This is... wow, this is two tickets to Belize."
"Is that where I put those? Happy birthday."
"Thanks, buddy. This means a lot."
"Well, what are hetero life partners for if not to ship each other a great distance away with their significant others?"
"Should I bring you anything back?"
"Only if you find the meaning of life. In which case, I would like a tiny spoon please."
"Done and done. Really though, why do you insist on wearing those sunglasses? I can't take you seriously in them."
"I don't want you to take me seriously. That's why I wear them."
"For real though, what's up with them?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yes."
"I wear them so people can't see how depressed I am. All the time."
"I see."
"I tell jokes all the time because I want my friends to be happy, even when I'm not. I don't want my depression to bring the room down."
"Well then."
"Are you still glad you asked me?"
"I'm glad you trust me enough to share it with me. How can I help?"
"Take Cheryl to Belize, and have lots of sex. Possibly with each other. Don't scream my name."
"I will do all of those things."
"You're damn right you will."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines