No narration. Just speech.
"Hi."
"I don't- where- what am I doing here?"
"Shhh... calm down now. There's no need to be upset. We're just having a little talk."
"No need to- I'm tied to a chair, what the fuck is going on?"
"I'll thank you not to swear here, there's no need for that. We are civilized people."
"Civilized? You tied me to a f- ...to a chair!"
"Now, that's as much for your safety as it is for ours."
"What's going on?"
"Ah, yes. Well you see, you're here because you have information that I want. I'm here to get that information from you. And Steve over there is here to make sure you give it to me."
"What? What information?"
"You know, there are six basic pieces to every limb. There's the outer extremity - that's the hand or foot; there's the outer joint, being the wrist or ankle; there's the lower limb, the mid joint, the upper limb, and the base joint. These aren't medical terms, they're just what I like to call them. Six limb pieces, and I have six questions. And Steve over there has a fifteen pound sledgehammer. Do you see where this going, Jason?"
"I swear I don't know anything. Whoever you think I am, that's not me!"
"Oh, come now, you don't really think I'm so bad at my job that I would have you brought here without being completely sure that you are who I think you are, do you? Now, here's how this is going to work: I'm going to roll this four-sided die before each question, to figure out which limb we're working with, and we're going to work from the extremity back to the base joint. I'll ask you a question, and if you don't answer, or if you lie to me, then you'll find out just how hard Steve can swing that hammer. Do you understand?"
"I... Uh..."
"Yes, of course you understand. So, what are we working with first? Looks like it's your left hand on the line. That's more likely to bruise than break, so we'll start with an easy question: I know that at 11:35 last night, you stole a shipment of mine off the back of a truck at the pier. Whom did you steal it for?"
"What? Nobody, nobody!"
"Now, you see, I thought you'd say that, so I want to make something clear for you. Whatever you say now, the following questions will be based on your first answer being the truth. So if you tell me that you stole it for yourself, and I figure out that you're lying, then Steve is going to break every limb part that's been on the line until then. If it takes until your right thigh, then Steve will break your hand, your femur, and everything else that was rolled in between. It will not end well for you. So with that in mind, I'll repeat the question: for whom did you steal my product?"
"I can't tell you, he'll kill me."
"What? Oh, I see. You think I want to hurt you! Oh no, that couldn't be further from the truth. Hurting you gets me nothing. I don't even enjoy watching it happen. I don't want to hurt you, and Steve doesn't want to hurt you. That's not his real name, by the way - I'm not an idiot. His real name is way cooler than Steve. No, what I want is information. And if you give me the information I want, then not only will Steve not hurt you, but I'll also make sure that whoever you're working for never finds out that you gave him up. You have my word as a gentleman. Well, with 'gentleman' kind of loosely defined. But I promise you, anything you say here does not go beyond these four walls."
"You'll protect me?"
"I will protect you from whoever you're about to name finding out that you named him, yes."
"I don't want to die."
"I also don't want you to die. I want you to leave here fully intact and unharmed, and I want you to stay that way. But you have to play ball here."
"Okay. It was Tommy Fingers."
"Well. That's an unfortunate name for you to drop right there. It's not a name I wanted to hear, so I'm going to give you one chance to change your mind."
"I swear, it was Tommy Fingers. He paid us for the whole thing, start to finish."
"I see. Well, I'll take you at your word here, your left hand is safe for now. What's next? Ah, your right ankle. Jason, for your ankle I have another easy one for you: how long ago did Tommy Fingers first contact you to do jobs for him against me?"
"I didn't even know it was your shipment! He just said there was a boat coming in that he wanted me to steal product from."
"Jason, you're not answering the question."
"It's a question I can't answer! He never said any job was targeting you, so I don't know what the first one was!"
"Did you steal - before I ask this, I want you to remember that I know you were following orders, and I won't hold it against you. Honest answers still mean you don't get hurt. Did you steal cocaine from a truck on March 17?"
"No, that wasn't me."
"But you know who did?"
"No, I just mean I didn't do it."
"Did you steal a box of machine guns from a boat on April 8?"
"Yes."
"When did he hire you for that job?"
"It was, like, 2 weeks before?"
"So he's been hiring people to carry out jobs against me since at least the end of March. This used to be a gentleman's business."
"I swear that's all I know about that!"
"It's okay, Jason, you're doing fine here. Now, next question. And this time it's your... right shin. That's a pretty thick bone, it takes a lot of force to break it."
"Oh God!"
"Huh? Oh, no, don't worry, you're doing really well so far."
"Th- thank you."
"Oh how I do love a person with manners. Steve looks like he's getting restless over there though. I guess he does want to hurt you after all. Let's keep him disappointed, shall we?"
"I ... okay."
"Good. Remember, the only thing I want is information. I don't want to hurt you. So, third question - please stop crying, you're embarrassing yourself."
"I can't help it, I'm scared."
"Yes, well... hopefully that won't last. Third question: how do you deliver the product to him after you steal it?"
"I - he's gonna kill me, I know he is!"
"Jason, like I said, as long as you're straight with me, he won't find out. How do you deliver the product to him after you steal it?"
"I take it to a storage unit and leave it there. Then I go back a few days later for a bank transfer number."
"I'm going to need the location and storage unit number, Jason."
"It's the self storage place on Woodbine. D28."
"Of course he'd use that storage place. Well, that's good news for you, Jason, you just verified your first answer. Your left hand, right ankle, and right shin are all now safe from Steve. Still not his real name."
"Okay."
"Jason, please, stop shaking. You're halfway home. Now, fourth roll... right elbow. Tell me, Jason: has Tommy Fingers hired you to steal anything else that you haven't done yet?"
"If I tell you he'll kill me!"
"No, if you don't tell me he'll kill you. If you tell me then you're safe, remember?"
"Okay. Right, okay. Uh... I'm supposed to hit a warehouse on 8th Street next Tuesday."
"Warehouse on 8th. I see."
"Is that... a good answer?"
"Is it the truth?"
"Yes, every word of it."
"Then it's a good answer."
"Okay, good, that's good."
"Fifth question. And this one's for your... left thigh. Did you know the femur is one of the hardest bones in the body? Anyway, I'm going to tell you something that shouldn't be surprising: I want my stuff back. You put it in the storage unit. If it's not still there when my men go to get it, then where is it?"
"Wait, how are they going to get in to the storage unit? There's a padlock on it."
"I gave them your keys. Thank you for loaning them to me."
"But I didn't?"
"Sure you did. Right before you woke up. But I feel like you're evading the question, Jason. If it's already been moved, then where has it gone to?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know, or you don't want to tell me?"
"I don't know! We only communicate through the unit, I've never seen any of his other properties. I guess he has a warehouse somewhere they could be? I don't know."
"Okay, I believe you. Now, before I ask the sixth and final question, I'm going to give you a free chance to ...amend... any of the answers you've given me. Is there anything you'd like to add to them?"
"No, I've told you everything I know."
"Good. That makes me happy. Not-Steve, go burn Tommy Fingers' family alive. Oh, and leave the sledgehammer."
"What? He's gonna burn them alive?"
"Tommy Fingers and I had an arrangement: he doesn't hassle me, and I don't hassle him. However, by hiring you to hit me three times in the last two months, he's violated our arrangement. Such transgressions have consequences. Don't worry: I'm a man of my word. He will never know that you gave him up - as long as you answer my final question. And this one is for your... right hip. Oh, you don't want to lose that, that'll lay you up in bed for months waiting for a replacement. And I'm afraid I'm not as accurate as Steve is with this hammer, so it might take a couple swings to get it right."
"Please, I don't want to-"
"Relax, you've answered every question so far, all you have to do is answer one more. Of course, you did steal from me twice. And like I said just now, transgressions have consequences. Somebody has got to pay. So Jason, tell me: what's your parents' address?"
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines