No narration. Just speech.
"Simmons, fetch... The Device."
"What device, sir?"
"The Device."
"There are, like, twenty devices here. Which one do you want?"
"...The socket wrench."
"Okay, fine. Here's the socket wrench."
"Thank you, Simmons."
"You know, it would be a lot easier to assist you if you'd just tell me what you want. All of this 'The Device' and 'The Mechanism' stuff just slows things down."
"I hear your criticism, Simmons, and don't care. I run this secret lair how I want to. If you want to run one in a different way, get one of your own."
"Yes, sir."
"Now, bring me ...The Machine."
"...Which machine, sir?"
"The only machine!"
"There are fifty-nine machines here."
"The one on the left!"
"You want the cell phone?"
"Yes, I want the cell phone."
"Why?"
"Because I want to wish my mom a happy birthday."
"Oh. Well that's a good idea. Here you go."
"You fool! My mother's birthday isn't for three weeks!"
"So what do you want the phone for?"
"Solitaire."
"You're interrupting your evil plan to play video solitaire?"
"I am."
"Why?"
"Because being evil is exhausting, and sometimes I need a break."
"Oh. Would you like me to put on some music?"
"Yes, that would be nice."
"Baroque?"
"You know me so well. But please, don't just call it 'music,' call it something more ominous, like The Waveform."
"But there are at least three things on that wall alone that generate waves of some sort. Including one of those gold cats that sits there waving at you."
"Well, then, I guess you'll just have to figure it out."
"I still think it's a poor use of time."
"Think that all you want, it won't make it right. Half of this job is just saying things that sound ominous and cool. If you can't handle it, then I fear you're in the wrong line of work."
"Do you want me to go then?"
"I think that would be for the best. Please use The Portal."
"You mean the door?"
"...Yes."
"Okay. Do you want a chicken pie for dinner?"
"Yes please."
"Dinner's at 6."
"Love you."
"I love you too, Sweetie."
"Mom, please, don't call me Sweetie down here. It's Mr. Awesome Devious."
"You suck at naming things."
"Thank you, mother."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines