No narration. Just speech.
"I love this show."
"Eh, I'm not a fan."
"What don't you like?"
"I wish they wouldn't lean so hard on the nudity."
"What do you mean? There's nary a nipple to be found."
"They had that sex scene a couple weeks ago."
"I thought you didn't watch it? How do you know what was on a couple weeks ago?"
"I keep up with social media."
"That's fair. And yeah, there was a sex scene, but you couldn't see anything. It was from the side, and hands were in the way and stuff."
"It still counts."
"How so?"
"It's implied nudity."
"That's ...not a thing?"
"I mean, can you do it while clothed?"
"Mostly, yeah, if I wanted to."
"Except the important bits."
"Of course."
"So those parts are nude."
"I guess?"
"There you go."
"But wait, the show has vampires eating people, and it's the implied nudity you take issue with?"
"Yeah."
"How does that work?"
"Everyone knows vampires aren't real, so everyone knows that that's fake. Same with all the violence. We all know they're not really hurting each other. It's fantasy. But a breast is a breast."
"Uh huh."
"Nudity is the one thing I can't abide on TV, because it's harmful to children. They're not ready for that yet."
"It's for the kids."
"Right."
"So don't watch it with them."
"That's not the point. They could see it while flipping through channels."
"They could also see someone's guts spilling out while flipping through channels. You don't have a problem with that?"
"Everyone knows that's fake."
"Kids don't know it's fake. Their brains haven't learned to differentiate at that level yet."
"They see it all the time in cartoons. Their brains can process that. Being exposed to nudity at such a young age could damage them."
"Let me get this straight: you turn on your TV, and the program has fights, people getting shot, limbs cut off, set on fire, dissolved in acid, or mutilated in some way, and that's all fine - but God forbid you see a nipple. Out of all of those things, how is a nipple the one that's going to be damaging to young minds?"
"Because nudity is something their minds aren't ready for yet."
"It's the human body in its natural state! They're not ready for a bare breast, but they're ready for a dismembered corpse?"
"I didn't say that."
"Except you really did. You said that nudity was the one thing that you couldn't abide on TV, because it's harmful to children. Which automatically makes everything else acceptable for them."
"That's not what I said."
"It literally is."
"You're twisting my words."
"I'm repeating your words. The truth is this isn't about children, and it never has been. This is all about you having a problem with sexual expression. You are so scared that people might enjoy it, that you do everything in your power to stop them from even finding out that it exists. How many Abstinence Only organizations do you donate to each year?"
"I don't see how that's relevant."
"Just tell me, how many?"
"...Six."
"That's what I thought. You need to stop trying to prevent other people from seeing or doing things that you personally don't agree with. They're not your eyes, and it's not your place to stop anyone from watching whatever they want to on TV, or from doing whatever they want in the privacy of their own house."
"It's an affront to decency!"
"Out of all of those things I listed, the one where the human body isn't being destroyed is the affront to decency?"
"I think you should go home now."
"I think I shouldn't come back."
"I think that's a good idea."
"It's still early. I'm gonna go watch midget porn."
"Of course you are."
"Online dating is stupid."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines