No narration. Just speech.
"I can't believe how gullible you are."
"What do you mean?"
"Global warming."
"It's called climate change now."
"Exactly."
"I don't follow."
"If it were real, why would they have to change the name?"
"To be more accurate. The earth isn't just getting warmer, the climate is changing to include more severe weather events, more frequently."
"You really think that people are changing the climate?"
"That's the consensus."
"It's just a con, man. They're trying to make you do things the 'eco-friendly' way, instead of the way you've always done it before."
"Like what?"
"I heard some celebrity idiot say you should fold your toilet paper after you've already used it, to use it again. It's already dirty, why would I wipe myself with it a second time?"
"Your problem is with toilet paper?"
"No, my problem is with people acting like they know what's best for me. I'll do things the way I want to, and nobody can change that."
"So you won't do things to reduce waste and get cleaner air out of spite?"
"No, I won't do them because they don't make a difference. The world doesn't care how much toilet paper I use."
"What if I could prove that it doesn't matter whether climate change is real, it's actually to your own financial benefit to act as if it is?"
"Well that's a load of bull."
"No, I'm serious. Take your car, for instance."
"What about it?"
"How much are you paying each month on your lease? Ballpark."
"About three hundred fifty dollars."
"Before tax or after?"
"After."
"Good. Let's always use after tax. How much is your insurance?"
"Hundred and fifty."
"You pay for a parking spot at your building?"
"Yeah, that's about a hundred."
"Okay, so we're at six hundred dollars so far. How much do you spend on gas?"
"About a hundred."
"Parking around the city?"
"One fifty. Oh, and I pay a hundred a month for preferred parking near my work."
"Okay, so that's eight hundred and fifty dollars a month. That's about ten thousand dollars a year, just to own your car. What about maintenance? Oil changes, new brakes, that sort of thing?"
"I don't know, two thousand a year?"
"Two thousand a year. So owning and driving and maintaining your car costs you about twelve thousand dollars each year."
"I suppose so."
"Right. How much is a bus pass?"
"I think it's a hundred and fifty dollars a month."
"That's eighteen hundred dollars a year. Let's round up to two thousand. So it costs you twelve thousand dollars to drive everywhere, or you could take the bus and save ten thousand dollars."
"That's a lot of money."
"Right? It doesn't matter whether climate change is real, acting as if it is real is worth ten thousand dollars a year to you. How much could you do with an extra ten thousand dollars a year?"
"That's a lot of cocaine."
"That's... you're missing the point. You could save yourself a lot of money, and help make the air just a little bit cleaner, and it doesn't matter whether climate change is real - those benefits are always there. And supposing it costs a hundred dollars to rent a car for the weekend, you could rent one every weekend and still be paying less than half of what you pay now. Even if you don't believe in climate change, it's still to your direct benefit to behave as if it's real."
"See, I get what you're saying, but on the other hand, that would make me an idiot without a car. I don't want to be that guy."
"So you would rather pay ten thousand dollars a year more, just to have a status symbol that you don't actually need?"
"Don't you own a car?"
"My situation is different. I live in the boonies. I need a car. You can get by on public transit. I can't."
"And yet neither of us ever will."
"Look, just tell me you'll think about it."
"Okay, I'll think about it. As far as you know."
"I suppose that'll have to do."
2020-06-22 · Boss Music Intensifies
2020-06-15 · Accept the Unexpected
2020-06-08 · Failing The Test
2020-06-01 · Best Laid Plans
2020-05-25 · The End?
2020-05-18 · The Only Explanation
2020-05-11 · Personal Victory
2020-05-04 · Six Questions
2020-04-27 · It's A Team Effort
2020-04-20 · The More Things Change
2020-04-13 · It's All About Perspective
2020-04-06 · Fake It 'Til You Make It
2020-03-30 · Keeping It Clean
2020-03-23 · How To Save The World
2020-03-16 · Time For A Change
2020-03-09 · Music To My Ears
2020-03-02 · Unfamiliar Territory
2020-02-24 · Something From Nothing
2020-02-17 · The Times Are Changing
2020-02-10 · The Missing Piece
2020-02-03 · Wrong Place, Wrong Time
2020-01-27 · Overexposure
2020-01-20 · As Seen On TV
2020-01-13 · Written By A.I.
2020-01-06 · Promises Kept
2019-12-30 · Ringing It In
2019-12-23 · Happy Unspecified Seasonal Holiday!
2019-12-16 · The Lair
2019-12-09 · Time To Get Cracking
2019-12-02 · Not A Suicide
2019-11-25 · The One That Knows What Number It Is
2019-11-18 · Venting Frustrations
2019-11-11 · The Test Takers
2019-11-04 · Make Your Play
2019-10-28 · Horror With Smart People
2019-10-21 · The Interview
2019-10-14 · It Must Have Happened At Some Point
2019-10-07 · Work The Problem
2019-09-30 · Cogs in the Machine
2019-09-23 · First of One
2019-09-16 · Curse Your Inevitable Betrayal!
2019-09-09 · Be Brief
2019-09-02 · Changing Channels
2019-08-26 · It's A Process
2019-08-19 · Armed And Dangerous
2019-08-12 · Good Intentions
2019-08-05 · A Simple Procedure
2019-07-29 · Finale Feelings
2019-07-22 · Fun And Profit
2019-07-15 · It Builds Character
2019-07-08 · Aviator Safety
2019-06-24 · Something's Been Bugging Me
2019-06-17 · It's All About You
2019-05-27 · Rough Encounters
2019-05-20 · Wishes Three
2019-05-13 · A Gentle Nudge
2019-05-06 · A Simple Misunderstanding?
2019-04-29 · Don't Spoil It
2019-04-22 · Under Scrutiny
2019-04-15 · Prepare To Resist
2019-04-08 · Making Small Talk
2019-04-01 · The Crisis
2019-03-25 · Just Kidding
2019-03-18 · How About That Local Sports Team?
2019-03-11 · Public Engagement
2019-03-04 · The Hero We Need
2019-02-25 · The Negotiation
2019-02-18 · Executive Orders
2019-02-11 · The Talk
2019-02-04 · The Big Game
2019-01-28 · If It's A Girl...
2019-01-21 · The Nature Of Picasso
2019-01-14 · I'm Sorry, Ms. Jackson
2019-01-07 · Never Saw It Coming
2018-12-31 · Duelling ...Holidays?
2018-12-24 · Too Much Cheer
2018-12-17 · Taking Out The Trash
2018-12-10 · Let's Go To The Movies
2018-12-03 · Not For Donuts
2018-11-26 · Horizons Made Broad
2018-11-19 · It's The Journey That Matters
2018-11-12 · Anthing You Can Do...
2018-11-05 · Let's Call It "Laundry"
2018-10-29 · Unfriended
2018-10-22 · A Conversation About "Tacos"
2018-10-15 · Changes
2018-10-08 · An Adult-Sized Secret
2018-10-01 · Street War
2018-09-24 · Whither Whether Why
2018-09-17 · The Pitch
2018-09-10 · The One That's Meta
2018-09-03 · A Night At The Movies
2018-08-27 · We're Vampires
2018-08-20 · The Final Showdown
2018-08-13 · The End Of The World
2018-08-06 · A More Rational Kind Of Love
2018-07-30 · Death Troubles
2018-07-23 · True Love
2018-07-18 · At Least It's Not Des Moines